it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
