We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
