smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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