The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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