how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
