what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
