Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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