soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
