I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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