I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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