i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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