Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
