Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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