How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
