Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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