look no pants
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
