I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
