Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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