just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
