You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
