She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
