There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
