it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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