I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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