Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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