Your face is a jimmy john
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
