he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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