So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
