Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize