Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
