found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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