Porn is love you can see.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
