talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
