I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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