C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
