life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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