he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I looked at my own cervix.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
