It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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