So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
