i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
