Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
