We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
