very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We're too hungover to prance.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
