somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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