Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
