Whod you bang
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
