The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
