I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
