I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
