i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
