Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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