just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
