cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
